John 12:25
"He that loveth his life shall loose it;
and he that hateth his life in this world
shall keep it unto life eternal."
Lord,
This is me, right now. It is not enough to resign myself to "live" what You lay out for me in this life... with a heart that hates it! This is what I am tempted to. I am saying, "Thy will be done" in word only... as I hate where my life is going.
But You say, "He that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal."
I understand, Lord.
This is an "awful" bunch of circumstances, but it is just "life in this world," which I am freed to "hate" as I look to You and the glorious new life you have given to me!
What comfort there is in Your word. I hurt, tremendously, as I feel the pain of rejection... as the husband I still love turns from me for the hope of someone better. It is but "life in this world"; for all the pain I feel, it is but nothing compared to You.
Dear Father, let me "look to You" and "live" though my world falls down around me! You have promised that I will not be moved. (Psalm 121:3, Psalm 61:2, 6) This is true, as my world falls apart. It is but "life in this world" and as I look to You and what You have freely given, it (this world) is "hated" in comparison.
The question that hounds me, coming back again and again like a plague is, "How can I live this life?" There is so much pain and sadness. But when I look to You, it vanishes.
I can not "love" and cling to what I have hoped for in this life. (husband, a happy home) That is what "loving my life in this world" looks like! Oh, help me to let it go to You, "hating" my life in this world and clinging to You instead. Show me how; help me to do this. I am unable of myself.
Work by Your power in this weak, earthen vessel to Your glory. (II Corinthians 4:7)
Thank You for Your love. I love You "better" than all of this. You have been with me all of this way; be with me still as I move forward through such earthly pain. Be all my hope and strength!
Amen.
